Monday, November 30, 2009

It's Always Something

Life is about the journey, not the end destination. Often I allow the "little things" to build up and become mountains instead of the molehills they are. As my life has changed considerably this past year, I try and see the good and learn from what I am experiencing- wisdom doesn't just happen after all. There is a reason for everything that happens- I just don't always see it at the time. Hindsight becomes 20/20 though. No one's life is perfect nor should it be. There is always going to be something to work on or towards, but I can appreciate the moment now.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

At a Loss

One of my downfalls is that I like to be in control of my life instead of just allowing it to happen. Sometimes it's a good thing but usually it's a lot of undue stress. When I was nine I took a photo of a wedding dress out of a magazine and kept it until I was twenty-five. I always believed that I would find my soulmate and I did and waited until I was thirty-four to get married. I truly believed with all my being that I would be married until death. Again, it goes back to that not being in control of the situation or of someone else. 2009 has been the roughest year of my life and crying has become a daily norm. I have never had a broken heart until now- nor did I believe that I ever would. When I commit there is no question for me- you do what is necessary to be together. The hard part comes when the love of your life doesn't feel the same. So the daily struggle now is to forgive and move forward instead of living in the past. Memories are dangerous things that trap us in what use to be instead of what is.