Happy Holidays!

Happy Holidays to everyone!  Work continues on the house- now I am just down to the little things which is really nice.  Hopefully I will be in by January 4th, at least that's the plan.  Ginny continues to defy the odds.  Her kidneys are okay, but her liver has suffered due to required medications.  She is still her perky self, she just takes more naps.  Thanks to everyone's well wishes for the monkey.

A Dog's Tale

 Here is an update on the girls. Ginny's one eye is better, the other got worse and required another medication.  Along with that, I am waiting to hear if her kidneys are failing her now. The little monkey can't catch a break lately. Meanwhile, Ms. Gracie made an appearance at the police Christmas party where she wowed the crowd with her tricks and good behavior (even when the baby pulled her hair).  She trumped Santa with the kids! Can you tell I love my girls?

Blessings

It was relayed to me this week by the vet that Ms. Ginny would not be a candidate for an eye removal if it came to that...her right eye worsened over last weekend but her left eye responded to the medicine. That was the nice way of the vet telling me there would be nothing they could do if the new medicine didn't work. The thought of loosing Ginny breaks my heart, but I don't want her to be in pain or to suffer just so I have her around. I refuse to give up hope that she will improve and I think she refuses too. She is my little blessing.

Unconditional Love

I always had pets around as a kid. Once out of college I decided that I needed to be a pet owner so to the pound I went. Two cats and two dogs later, I find it quite interesting how attached I have become to my animals. Is it because I don't have kids? Am I just an animal lover? Or is it the ability to help animals escape from the shelter? The more I think about it it's none of those. They give unconditional love- very simple I guess. My Ginny was diagnosed with glaucoma yesterday and the vet says she would be unable to go through surgery if needed due to her heart condition. Unfortunately my contractor took the emotional brunt of that news (he had bad timing yesterday). But my mother pointed out that Ginny is a fighter- she was abused, starved to bones, battles a heart condition, allergies, blindness and arthritis daily but she is the sweetest soul on Earth. So I will continue to fight for my Ginny as long as she is a happy girl and not suffering. If everyone gave the type of love Ginny gives, what a great world it would be.

It's Always Something

Life is about the journey, not the end destination. Often I allow the "little things" to build up and become mountains instead of the molehills they are. As my life has changed considerably this past year, I try and see the good and learn from what I am experiencing- wisdom doesn't just happen after all. There is a reason for everything that happens- I just don't always see it at the time. Hindsight becomes 20/20 though. No one's life is perfect nor should it be. There is always going to be something to work on or towards, but I can appreciate the moment now.

At a Loss

One of my downfalls is that I like to be in control of my life instead of just allowing it to happen. Sometimes it's a good thing but usually it's a lot of undue stress. When I was nine I took a photo of a wedding dress out of a magazine and kept it until I was twenty-five. I always believed that I would find my soulmate and I did and waited until I was thirty-four to get married. I truly believed with all my being that I would be married until death. Again, it goes back to that not being in control of the situation or of someone else. 2009 has been the roughest year of my life and crying has become a daily norm. I have never had a broken heart until now- nor did I believe that I ever would. When I commit there is no question for me- you do what is necessary to be together. The hard part comes when the love of your life doesn't feel the same. So the daily struggle now is to forgive and move forward instead of living in the past. Memories are dangerous things that trap us in what use to be instead of what is.

My girl Gracie informed me yesterday she was tired of being ignored in my blog and was not going to stand for it anymore. So therefore, I am sorry Graciepooh! You were my first dog and remain my constant companion always ready to "go" wherever mom takes you. I love you!

REDOING

This past weekend the "Wallpaper Mafia" came to visit my 1978 house. Velvet wallpaper and brown paneling were apparently the rage then...not so much now. This group of people graciously volunteered to take down four rooms of wallpaper and help demo a kitchen. They worked for 8 hours and saved me about two weeks worth of work. I am forever grateful to them and while I absolutely hate wallpaper and brown paneling, their company and gesture outweighed my hatred for 70's decor. Thank you ladies and gentleman!!

The Monkey

Usually I try to find the "gift" in what I have been given whether good or bad. Sometimes I fail at that. Three ladies went out of their way this past weekend to get Ginny (my monkey) a blanket with her namesake on it. Yes, Ginny is a dog, but she acted so much like a monkey when I got her that the nickname stuck. The blanket of course meant more to me than to the Monkey, but the gift- which wasn't the blanket- but the gesture and thoughtfulness of these ladies, reminded me to look past my nose.

New Beginnings- whether wanted or not

While I realize that life sometimes deals us a crappy hand, I have been reminded this week no matter what comes my way, I still go on. I have been redoing a house (which I hope to be my last) after work everyday which was built in 1978 and has lovely velvet wall paper (I hate wallpaper!). And as frustration was mounting while powerwashing a patio covered in 30 years of grime, it struck me how lucky I was to be able to be powerwashing the patio of a house soon to be mine. It is easy to get weighed down in the muck and to be unhappy about what life deals us, but I believe there is a gift of knowledge gained about ourselves and the realization of inner strength (which is sometimes forgotten) that we can always be grateful for.

The moment to say "goodbye" to Vinny came last week. It was not expected, but I was totally unprepared. He had been sick for about six months but you would've never known. Vinny was handpicked from a liter the weekend after I graduated from the police academy. His mother was a loving cat and Vinny turned out to be the most awesome cat on the planet. Everyone who met him thought so. The Vinnymeister filled many moments of my life with love and laughter. I will always miss him.

On midnight shift I have a lot of time to think- sometimes too much actually. There aren't many moments that go by that I don't miss my Pop. When I was sitting on the beach last week missing him (he loved the beach and I got to tag along with the grandparents on their beach trips) or when I see something that just reminds me of him- he's always there. Those moments use to make me sad, but I have appreciation for them now because there are those who have never known a grandfather's love and support as I was able to. For that I will be ever greatful.

Ms. Ginny Watts

aka "Monkey"

Trying something new

I sit here typing with a dog in my lap. Ginny refuses not to be held and I am not a good one armed typer. It's one of those moments that would normally irritate me to no end, but then she looks up at me. Ginny can't see anymore- she has run into the wall five times already today. She is fourteen in diva dog years and I have been blessed with my little money pit for five years. So I accomodate bringing the laptop to me and raising her up just a bit...isn't that what life is sometimes about-accomodating others and appreciating the little moments such as her eyes pointed in my direction?